Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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