Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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