In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
