i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
