Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
