You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
false alarm. still invincible.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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