Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
