I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
