You can't special order awesome
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
