hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
