the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize