Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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