Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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