You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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