And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
