Ambien. No doubt about it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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