Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
