I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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