White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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