Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
ok first of all what the fuck
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
