I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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