I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
