just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
