Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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