once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
