I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She announced her abortion via fbk
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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