So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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