How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
