Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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