i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
