Your tits are I can't wait for
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
