Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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