So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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