It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
