I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
