NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
