This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Randomize
