she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
