I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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