i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
