I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She told me I should be a condom model.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
