Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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