dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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