Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
