i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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