I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
