i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
