By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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