Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
