well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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