Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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