Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
