Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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