a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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