If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
