Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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