I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
