Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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