Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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