i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
