How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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