I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
