the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
