you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
