I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
