So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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