She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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